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Thursday, June 15, 2017

Everything I Wish I Knew When Sending My Kid Off to School


As a parent, sending your child off to school for the first time is a whirlwind of emotions -- excitement, nervousness, worry. Now that my son is wrapping up his first year of school, I can look back and see the things I pieced together along the way and wish I'd known at the beginning of the year. Here is the highlights reel:

Label everything that goes to school -- backpack, jackets for every season, hats, gloves, lunch box. You'll be amazed at all of the things your child can misplace.

Get doubles of high use items -- gym shoes, snow pants, winter coat, gloves. They get lost, left at school, and can become filthy beyond recognition. We kept an extra pair of gym shoes and snow pants at school so he didn't have to worry about carrying them back and forth on those days. I'd recommend cruising the thrift stores and end of season sales now; we also got some great hand-me-downs from friends that were perfect for this use.

Invest in a sturdy backpack and lunch bag. We tried using a backpack from the previous year that practically melted and had to be replaced mid-year. I prefer the prints from Pottery Barn, but I also hear that Land's End makes a sturdy pack.

Invest in a lunch container if your child will bring lunch to school. Two per kid works so that a fresh one can be packed while the dirty one gets cleaned and dries. We use Yumbox and really like their durability, ease of opening, and how cleanly contained each portion is. I also like that there's a little container for a dessert, and I know my son looks forward to his lunchtime cookie or square of chocolate.

Have a stock of phrases ready to use other than "how was school?" I like asking, "Who did you sit with at lunch today?" and "Who did you play with at recess?" My son likes questions about what he did in art, gym, or music depending on the day of the week. We also started playing what my kids call the question game at dinner, and each person gets to ask a question for the whole table to answer; I'll often ask, "What's something nice you did for someone else today?"

Join a team or club. Just like when you started high school, signing up for an activity, whether it's soccer or Girl Scouts, will make early friends and find familiar faces for your child (and for you as you navigate a new social scene!).

Volunteer in your child's class. If your work schedule permits, volunteer to run a center, go on a field trip, or help with a special event at your child's school. I have a job that does not permit me to miss an hour or two easily, so I waited until the spring to take a day off and volunteer. I really enjoyed seeing the class in action and putting faces to the names my son always talks about; my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner because it was such a positive experience.

Lean how to be an advocate for your child. It's okay to reach out and politely ask questions about how much recess is given, how frequently students have choice time in their school day, the purpose of homework, and anything else you're curious or unclear about. Your child is too tiny to do these things for himself/herself, and you need to learn how advocate on his/her behalf. Also, you need to remember that five-year-olds are unreliable narrators, so you never know the other side of the story until you ask.

What important things did you figure out during your child's first year of school? Is there anything you wish you'd done differently?

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